Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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