I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
God I need to hump something, right now.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
