I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
