i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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