sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize