I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
