i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
