I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Randomize
