Your mouth is God's brothel.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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