I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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