It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
