mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
