There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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