Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
