If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
