I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize