Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
