carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
