No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize