my sisters under your porch take her home
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
40s are totally the cure
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Randomize
