i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
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