I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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