ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
