Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
