am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
