Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
