I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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