How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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