I think I died a long time ago.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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