so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
