He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
