I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
