I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
