i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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