you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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