I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
that may or may not have been my penis.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
