Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
