my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Drake has all the answers
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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