There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize