Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We need to get me chipped asap
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
