"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
