new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
