I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
