I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
