that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
