You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
