She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
