it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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