Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
