Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
