Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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