Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
