you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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