and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
only you would photoshop your dick
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
