if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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