The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
