he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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