these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
