Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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