im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize