you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
