New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
