He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
