I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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