why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize